When Camp Isn't Perfect (And That's Okay)

Days have gotten longer, the sun is shining more, and temperatures are creeping up. Before long, duffles will be packed and campers will be boarding buses and planes for camp.

Parents often hope that camp will be magical, “the best summer of their lives,” or fear that their child will be so homesick and friendless that they “can’t make it.” The reality is that most camp experiences fall somewhere in the middle. In fact, the most meaningful and memorable parts of camp often don’t feel perfect in the moment.

Sometimes I hear parents react strongly to their child’s struggles: “For what we’re paying, she should be happy.” But that mindset misses the mark.

The goal of camp is growth, not perfection or constant comfort.

Camp is not designed to eliminate discomfort. It’s designed to help children navigate it. In a supportive and nurturing environment, children have opportunities to practice coping, independence, problem-solving, and emotional regulation. These are life skills that don’t develop when everything feels easy.

Camp, like all parts of life, includes a full range of emotions.

There will be moments of joy: laughing with friends until their stomach hurts, the excitement when color war breaks, and delight over something as simple as a favorite dessert in the dining hall. There will also be moments of frustration, disappointment, jealousy, and homesickness. These uncomfortable feelings do not mean something is wrong. They mean that something real is happening. Most importantly, they don’t always need to be fixed. They need to be felt, supported, and tolerated.

Rather than fearing these moments, we can begin to see them differently. They are not signs of a failed summer or evidence that you’ve chosen the wrong camp. They are often the very experiences that lead to growth.

Homesickness

Missing home is one of the most natural feelings a child can have when they are away from the people they love. It is a sign of connection, not failure. When children move through homesickness by seeking support, using coping strategies, or leaning on peers, they build confidence in their ability to handle hard feelings.

Friendship Challenges

Camp friendships don’t always happen instantly. Some summers feel easier socially than others. Moments of conflict or feeling left out are not signs that camp isn’t right for them. Instead, they are opportunities to learn how to navigate relationships without parents stepping in to manage them.

Disappointment

Not getting what they hoped for happens at camp just like it does at home. Whether it’s an activity, a role, or a bunk placement, it’s part of the experience. Disappointment, while uncomfortable, provides an opportunity for growth. When children persist, adapt, and try again, they build resilience and often a deeper sense of pride.

As parents, it can be gut-wrenching to receive that sad letter or have an emotional phone call. Our instinct may be to try to fix. We might want to change the bunk, push for a bigger role in the play, or even consider bringing them home, anything to relieve that discomfort.

My advice instead is to respond with warmth, empathy, and validation.

If you do reach out to camp, let the goal of the call be to share information and partner in supporting your child, not to solve or eliminate the problem.

After all, when we remove challenges or obstacles, we also remove the opportunity for growth. When children overcome these moments, they begin to internalize something powerful: “I can handle this.”

So as the summer approaches, the goal isn’t to ensure a perfect experience. The goal is to prepare for a real one.

A successful camp summer is not one without struggle. It’s one where a child learns they can move through struggle and come out stronger on the other side. Camp isn’t powerful because everything goes smoothly. It’s powerful because children discover they can do hard things.

Maine Camp Experience Resources & Tools

Looking for the perfect Maine camp for your child? Try out our helpful tool where you can select a camp by choosing: type of camp (girls, boys or coed) and session length (1-8 weeks). It helps to narrow down a few camps to a manageable list that includes rates. Then you can research these camps in more depth. Next, be sure to contact our Maine Camp Guide, Laurie to discuss these camps as well as for free, year-round advice and assistance on choosing a great Maine summer camp for your child.